The Samantha Years


There are days….

days when I’m rushing my daughter back to the hospital….

after having been out for less than 48 hours….

that I would like to morph into a Praying Mantis. You know, those neat looking green bugs that bite the heads off of other Praying Mantis’?

Chomp, Chomp, Chomp……

I’m not quite sure who would get it first. Would it be the driver in the left lane going 50 in a 75? Would it be the receptionist that can’t find our name on the schedule? Would it be the doc that questions why we are back?

Chomp, chomp, chomp……

I would only like it to be a temporary biting-off-of-the-head; maybe the head could grow back, maybe it could only be a nibble.

Chomp, chomp, chomp….

But if I did morph into a Praying Mantis we would be missing 90% of our medical staff (yes, at some point in time I have wanted to bite the head off of pretty much everyone who works with us) and that would be sad. They wouldn’t be around to do the wonderful things they did during this last stay…..

Wonderful things like get a PIC line placed for Samantha in less than six hours or push really hard to get us out tomorrow or coordinate home health care the day before a holiday so that we can go home.

Even if I only nibbled or if their heads grew back they probably wouldn’t be very happy that I decided to go all ‘Praying Mantis’ on them in the first place. They probably wouldn’t be very inclined to do all those wonderful things for us.

Pity….I do look quite nice in that shade of green….

It’s a delicate balance….what is rational…what is irrational….what is done out of love….what is said out of fear….how to keep my Mantis at bay….

Perhaps our doctors start to notice when I turn a bit green; when my jaw starts to lock and my eyes get a little buggy. Perhaps they speed things up, tell the receptionist to stay on the down-low, send the word out that this Mom needs some fresh air or at the very least….chocolate.

Thank goodness…we need them all…full bodied.

Chomp, chomp, chomp 🙂