Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

Positive Psychology

My last post was September 29th. 

Today is November 17th……


After I don’t post for a while, I feel the need to post something really substantial, because after all, I’ve been thinking about things to write about for 7 weeks but  I can’t get my act together. Or maybe I could get my act together but it was more fun to……

Go to Mexico

Visit Friends in Arizona

Or cuddle with Hubs. OR cuddle with Hubs in Mexico! 

All of which are things I have done in the last 7 weeks. But I have thought about what to write….what to write….what to write…..

In October I presented to a group of grieving parents at TCH. And I thought, who am I and why would someone want to hear our grief story. What pulls us together, what draws us apart in this journey? 

My Dad came to my presentation and sat in the front row. He laughed at my jokes which I appreciated because a group of grieving parents don’t always want to laugh….they mean to but grief has taken their laugh. 

Grief is a selfish, thieving bastard. 

It is a bad thing to have your laugh taken away. You have to find it, search for it protect it and make sure it has a voice. 

As a couple navigating through grief, people give you things. A friend gave us the video, This Emotional Life, a three part PBS special on what makes us human. 

It took us three years to get through the 3 part video. 

I kid you not. 

On Saturday, we had a dinner party with our friends. We thought it poor form to have a video for three years so on Friday, Hubs and I sat down and watched the last segment. 

It was about resiliency.

My favorite topic. 

As humans we are so stinkin’ resilient if we choose to be. 

The video also talked about Positive Psychology which Wikipedia defines as:Positive psychologists seek to find and nurture genius and talent and to make life more fulfilling.  

The longer I am on this earth, the more I realize we are all broken and have some depth of pain. We can focus on the pain, ignore it or we can try, try, try to turn it into something positive.

My Dad went to see my session on Grief. A week later I attended a fundraiser he spoke at for the Mental Health Center of Denver. After the presentation, I spoke with one of the doctors who talked about a recent trip to Rwanda and village where 50% of babies born died. 

He thought it would be very, very sad to be in such a place. But instead he found joy and easy smiles of the people in this village; the love of life for the people in it and the precious time they shared. 

Hmmm resilient, hopeful, grateful. 

The video we finally finished on Friday evening mentioned training of the brain to be positive….if we worked our brain to be positive the way athletes worked their bodies to be strong, we would be in a much better place. 

As we approach the Holiday Season, I leave you with a Super-Cheese quote from the great musical White Christmas….I will try and live by this in my new positive psychology plan 🙂

When I’m worried and cannot sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep 
Counting my blessings

Thanks Bing and Rosemary….sheep are noisy and kinda stinky.