Tag: health

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A Week Ago

On By HschichieIn blog18 Comments

I woke up this morning thinking about where we were just one week ago and how far we’ve come in seven days.

Last Saturday, Cynde was incredibly sick after Friday’s chemo treatment. She couldn’t keep anything down, so she and Pops spent the day in the Emergency Room searching for answers.

There really weren’t any answers that day, just an overzealous doctor who insisted she eat a Saltine cracker. Around midnight, after a frustrating standoff over that poor little cracker, they left exhausted, discouraged, and wondering what came next.

Sometimes these medical journeys have to get worse before they can get better.

Cynde’s angry Tum finally demanded the attention of exactly the right specialists, and that’s what it got. Aside from a couple of bumps along the way, her care has been exceptional. Every day has brought a little more progress, and right now, that’s exactly what we’re celebrating.

I also owe everyone an apology for disappearing after Wednesday’s update. I’m hoping we can all agree that when you don’t hear from me, it’s usually because things are quietly moving in the right direction.

So where are we today?

Cynde is getting stronger.

The TPN has allowed her digestive system to rest, and it seems to be making a real difference. The body wants to heal when we give it the chance.

And sometimes the biggest victories are the simplest ones.

She took a shower.

She’s walking the halls.

She’s sipping tea.

Then this morning they casually told me they were having breakfast together. Naturally, I assumed that meant Pops was enjoying pancakes while Cynde continued her gourmet TPN through her central line.

Nope.

She had scrambled eggs…and an English muffin.

Last weekend, one little cracker seemed impossible.

Today it was eggs and an English muffin.

All of this is about getting her strong enough for the next round of chemo because, in the end, it’s this stubborn cancer that’s causing all of these roadblocks. Her port will be placed on July 9, and chemo is scheduled to begin again on July 10.

I know this all sounds overwhelming, but her medical team continues to reassure us that, as difficult as this has been, none of it is unexpected with this type of cancer.

When I talked with Cynde yesterday, she said something that has stayed with me.

“We can do hard things.”

That’s what she wants everyone to know.

This is hard. And she can do hard things.

So we’re looking ahead to a possible Monday discharge. Home. Healing. One step at a time.

Thank you, as always, for your prayers, your messages, your encouragement, and for walking this road with us.

Happy weekend, dear tribe. ❤️

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No Soup For You!

On By HschichieIn blog3 Comments

I am a big Seinfeld fan, and sometimes my mind works in odd ways….when we talked through today’s update, my thought went to ‘No Food For You’! So I think you know where I am going with this.

Cynde’s tum is fighting a big fight. It seems like that is where her cancer cells have set up camp, making eating or drinking impossible. I started to type nearly impossible, but really, it is impossible right now for her to get the nutrition she needs through traditional means, i.e., eating and drinking.

And if you take eating and drinking (or the lack thereof) out of the equation, she looks really good. Cynde is committed to walking, standing, sitting up, and moving her body as much as she can. Side note, she pooped yesterday!!! YAY POOP!

But this tummy issue is a big one. And the doctors have decided to give her belly a rest while it fights this assy cancer.

You know what is really cool? Science and the time we live in. For the time being, Cynde will receive nutrition through a process called TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition). TPN is nutrition delivered directly into the bloodstream through a central IV line; it completely bypasses the digestive tract. Although your tummy may rumble, saying it’s hungry, it is really your cells that need to be fed. TPN is the McDonald’s milkshake of intravenous nutrition. It contains:

  • Calories (dextrose)
  • Protein (amino acids)
  • Fats (lipids)
  • Vitamins and minerals
  • Electrolytes and fluids

The good thing is that she can go home on TPN. She will have a backpack that will deliver this complex nutrition to her hungry cells, which are eager to fatten up so they can get back out there and fight this assy cancer.

We want this fix to be temporary- the tummy likes to feel useful, and we don’t want it to get the impression that it’s not needed, but it might take a while. Instead of taking her to lunch, maybe go to a fabulous garden….ironically, flowers don’t have tummies either 🙂

Cynde moved out of the ICU today, and that was a win. Poop is a win. And having a team that acknowledges the best treatment protocol is also a win.

She also said she has been craving a big, icy Coca-Cola. This is funny because she is not a soda girl. I told her this will be her celebratory drink once she can have a sip or two.

Pops is good. After doing a tour of the hotels in Aurora, Hampton Inn, Comfort Inn, La Quinta, he has decided that the Hampton Inn is the winner, but there is no place like home.

To Home! For Cynde and Pops, let’s try to picture them back in Arvada, TPN backpack and all, watching the sunset on their beautiful patio.

Tomorrow, my friends.

PS- I’ve gotten a couple of questions about my WordPress site. Right now, you have to click on the comments section to see the comments. You can also follow my updates here. I am working on making the comments available under the post. Hold tight!

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I Scream, You Scream……

On By HschichieIn blog4 Comments

Cynde’s eating ice cream!

I knew before all of this what a great and powerful tribe you are, but you’re somehow still exceeding expectations. Thank you for that.

After our post yesterday, our amazing nurse came into Cynde’s room and asked what she needed most.

Without hesitation, she said, “I want this NG tube out.”

If she could have manifested one thing in that moment, it would have been the removal of that tube.

I have to tell you, good nurses are the best. This stinkin’ tube is nestled down in her stomach and goes out her nose; that’s a lot of tube. She told the nurse she was really worried that its extraction would be painful.

“Let me get some cream that will numb your nose,” he said.

He came back with some lidocaine cream and carefully applied it.

“Let me just make sure you’re numb.”

And with that, abracadabra, he removed the tube before she even realized what had happened.

Nice job, Dustin. Nice job.

And after the tube came out, they decided she should celebrate with a little ice cream.

She ate it.

She kept it down.

Double, triple yay!!!

This morning was about mobility, getting her to walk and sit upright to help things move around. And you know our Cynde, she was all about all of that.

The team decided she was stable enough to move down to the Oncology Gynecology floor (GynOC), and they were putting plans in place when I left. The ICU team sees a lot of really sick people and has a hard job. It was evident that in 48 hours, they had gotten pretty attached to the fam and are happy/sad to see us go. Dad even handpicked some high-performance golf balls for our nutritionist’s husband. She was pretty touched.

The goal of the ICU team is to get you out of the ICU and onto your care team. We leave feeling super relieved about the progress over the last 48 hours, but concerned that we do not want to return.

This means assy rattlesnake cancer is still poking around her belly. The GynOC team will address the ‘breadcrumbs’ in her belly and work to ensure she gets the nutrition she needs while avoiding stress on her system. The process might seem slow but they are being cautious and deliberate.

It will be a delicate dance, but Cynde used to be a ballerina. She can learn the steps.

The rest of us will follow along- and I mean that literally. Pops’ spirits were great this morning, so much so that Cynde had to tell him to shush a couple times so she could talk to the docs.

As for me, I am grateful I can be there. I had a moment when one of the nurses asked if I had any siblings, and I got teary thinking about Ryan. AND then we had to explain our situation, which is hard, but it is who we are.

I will update tomorrow about moving day onto the GynOC floor. I have had a couple of people reach out to say they commented but cannot see their comments here; I will work on that. For now, this blog is the best place to get updates. You can also reach me at heather.schichtel@gmail.com. Texts are good too, but we are getting a lot of them. If we don’t get back to you, please do not take it personally; we are trying to keep a village informed, an awesome, amazing village.

I took a photo of Cynde and asked AI to have her eating ice cream; this is what it came back with. I am manifesting this photo as a picture of health 🙂

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We Need Some Good News

On By HschichieIn blog3 Comments

I need some good news: I love this toe-tappin ’ song by Shaboozey. I would listen to it in the car when Ryan was sick, my hand tapping in tune on the steering wheel, singing the lyrics. But I could never get through singing along; I would always tear up, choke up, and let Shaboozey take the wheel.

Man, what a hell of a year it’s been
Keep on bluffin’, but I just can’t win
Drowned my sorrows, but they learned to swim
Man, what a hell of a year it’s been

It hurts my soul to write that we are calling for some good news, yet again.

Are you hanging on?

Are you saddled up with me?

Because this one came from out of the universe and smacked our tight-knit, surviving family on the side of the head.

Our Cynde, my stepmama, Nonnie, and Pops’ beloved, was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer a couple of weeks ago. I won’t give stages, because really stages mean nothing, but I will tell you that this cancer is meaner than a rattlesnake in a sleeping bag. Not that any cancer is nice or cooperative; none of them are, but this one is particularly assy.

We have gone through diagnosis and had a plan last week. It was a tough plan: chemo, surgery, chemo wash during surgery, chemo. We like our oncologist, and Anschutz was on it.

But these terrible cells hold court in her belly, making eating, drinking, and pooping impossible. Cynde has been miserable and unable to hold food down for over a week. Eating a cracker is an impossible task.

When you can’t eat a cracker for seven days, and you have assy cancer holding court in your belly, AND, since Ovarian cancer makes your blood really clotty, so blood clots are an issue as well, you end up in the ICU.

Which was exactly where we found ourselves yesterday.

To make things a little more complex, Pops, being the amazing Pops he is, was dropping the Phews off in Michigan yesterday BECAUSE my sweet Phews JUST lost their dad and they need some time with cousins on a lake.

Cynde’s journey to the ICU started as an appointment to drain fluid from her belly. A friend took her to Anschutz early yesterday morning. (Thank you, Sue).

Around noon, Sue and I started texting….

Things aren’t great; I think they are going to admit her.

We are in room 123

They are concerned about a couple of things… going to the ICU.

When can you get here?

Call when you get here.

It’s funny how trauma takes you back. How you can drive that same route to the hospital, smell the same smells, yell at the same cars. How time can stand still, and the medical world moves so fast.

A brief hug with Sue at the entrance and into the room to talk to the doctors. A long story short (er), they scoped Cynde’s belly and determined that these terrible stomach issues do not require emergency GI surgery, but they do require a super uncomfortable NG tube, rest for her stomach, and hope that she can eat a cracker very soon.

Pops came in- in a rush to hear the good news that surgery on a Sunday night was not needed.

Today, things look better. The NG tube is pulling out cancer goo. The clots are being addressed with meds; Cynde is upright and alert.

We have moved from are we dealing with a surgical emergency?” to “Can we medically stabilize her and figure out the best cancer treatment plan?”

Is that the good news, Shaboozey? I guess we have to take it as such.

I know….I know, I know, I know. It is a lot. But I will tell you this about my people-

  • We are strong in a crisis. I am not tooting my own horn, but I know this about all of us.
  • We have a great medical team.
  • Whether we like it or not, this is where we are right now.

What is needed? That is a tough question. For my friends, I ask what I asked six months ago when Ryan went into Hospice… please let me move in and out. I might not respond to everything, but don’t count me out- I need my people. And thank you for letting me keep taking all the oxygen in the room.

For my Pops. Call, leave a message, call again. Take him golfing, take him to lunch. Hold his hand if he cries, make it awkward.

For Cynde, I have known this woman for over 40 years. She is so strong, tough as nails, and so private. She doesn’t need a meal train; she doesn’t want a fuss or pity; she doesn’t want flowers because she says they die and that makes her sad….she wants to manifest all of her energy into fighting this terrible disease. She wants to be here for her husband and grandchildren…..send that into the universe and give it a little extra moxie.

People will tell you during times like these to take care of yourself. Sometimes taking care of yourself means knowing exactly where you need to be and showing up anyway.

So that’s what we’re doing.

We’re showing up.

For Pops.

For Cynde.

For each other.

And for now, we’re taking our good news where we can find it. No emergency surgery. A stomach that can rest. A medical team we trust. A woman tough as nails who is still sitting upright and fighting.

Man, what a hell of a year it’s been.

We’re still here, Shaboozey.

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My Battle Against Wild Intensity

On By HschichieIn blogLeave a comment

On Friday, I plopped down on my therapist’s couch. It’s one of my most favorite places and after an eye-opening couple of weeks, I needed a place to process.


My recent, abrupt dismissal from my side writing gig left me a bit sideways. While I was proud of how I held my ground, calling things as I saw them and not rolling over to be ‘nice’, I still had a lot to work out in my head. Much of my self-reflection led to a dreaded question I had to ask: “Is it me?”


Is it me? Dismissed from two jobs in five months. I had to look at myself in the mirror and examine the reflection. I studied intensely, just as I look for chin hairs that are out of place. Sometimes 10x magnification just isn’t enough.


My mind can quantify a lot, but the heart and the ego don’t quantify anything well. The ego bruises, the heart breaks, and like any soft tissue, they take time to mend. And in this world of cancel culture, it is easier to yell, blame, unfriend, shame, and walk away.


I love therapy. We examined the times this has happened to me, a quick cancel. We examined patterns, including what I attract and what is attracted to me. We unpacked. And like any messy bag, unpacking can be cathartic, pulling out the items that have been festering and no longer serve us.


I have been known to come in larger than life. At times, Milley Cirus has been my spirit animal…..I came in like a wrecking ball….


Like any spark attracted to a flame, the initial fire is fabulous; it’s hot, it’s intense, commands attention, and is a tad explosive.


I remember this fire after Samantha. I was a big ol’ bottle of lighter fuel just waiting for a spark. And that spark accomplished many great things over the course of a decade. It was fueled by intensity and the need to do something amazing, and we did. But when my Miracles for Mito partner and I parted ways, it left me wondering what happened to that glorious flame and sorting through the ashes.


It was also the middle of COVID, and I needed something else. In came my writing gig. It wasn’t mine, but I was all on board with a salesperson/publisher determined to make her magazine huge. I was fueled by her fire and the love of seeing my name and my work in print.


And in my last sales job, I came in with intensity, working at a fevered pace, consuming the accolades, determined to make a difference, held together by grand, big ideas.


After my last letting go, I bought BrenĂ© Brown’s new book, Strong Ground, and joined a Pilates Studio.


Something has been missing, my core. Those muscles that hold everything together, those that lie deep in our middle and work every day to keep us upright. Those muscles that cannot be built overnight, those that require consistency and repetitive hard work.


‘Intentionality and Consistency over Wild Intensity’


Ugh- so boring! Daily mental and physical lunges and squats, and showing up at work to build a foundation, brick by brick, rather than blowing up a bouncy house.


Bouncy Houses are fabulous. And they tend to blow away in a strong wind.


We ended the hour at therapy. Yes, all of this happened in just an hour. My therapist looked at me, “I know this year has been hard, but this work? What we are doing here can be life-changing. Let’s go do some mental push-ups.”


Push-ups. So terrible, unsexy, consistent, and intentional.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6………

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I’m Swimming in the Rain

On By HschichieIn blog1 Comment

I have not posted since November 2024. My last post featured a rider on a horse being unceremoniously thrown off as I talked about my terrible day.

Looking back at the months later, I would have thought the horse was thinking, ‘HA! Hold my beer.’

I didn’t write in this space for six months because I didn’t know what to write. Sometimes, life has a way of taking up all the space.

After my post in November about the no-good, terrible, awful day, I went in for a routine mammogram. Two weeks later, I was asked to come back for another screening. That additional screening turned into a biopsy, which turned into two additional biopsies and a lumpectomy. Twelve weeks after my no good, terrible, awful day post, I was given the all-clear: stage zero cancer (that’s a thing!); continue with your life; sorry for the disruption.

To be clear, I am grateful that they care enough to disrupt. But as much as I tried to keep a stiff upper lip, it threw me for a bit of a loop.

I continued working during these 12 weeks. Working, trying to find revenue from the account we had lost. I would wake up in the middle of the night and think about where and how to find that next account.

I stopped dreaming. Nights were peppered with anxiety. Days were filled with ways to prove my worth.

On February 26th, I was given a clean bill of health and a nice two-inch scar on my left boobie.

Two months later, I was dismissed from my job.

I stopped writing here because I was so overwhelmed, which is ironic because I have gone through so much worse. I stopped writing here because I didn’t quite know who I was.

As of today, June 8th, I have been unemployed for six weeks. It has taken six weeks, but I am slowly finding my footing—I recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror. I dream again. I sleep through the night. I am carving out hours for me.

I swam outside the other day. The day was gray and overcast. Halfway through my workout, it started raining. Heavy raindrops hit my arms as the rest of me was submerged. Randomly, I started singing…….

I’m swimming in the rain. Just swimming in the rain

What a glorious feeling! I’m happy again.

I swim and I smile, I could go another mile.

Just swimming, just swimming in the rain…..

Hello me. I missed you.