Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief


The milk was curdled today. Hubby poured it onto his cereal and it landed with a plop into his bowl.


The expiration date was 7/31/10….
It shouldn’t have been curdled, it should have lasted another seven days after the expiration date. He told me he thought it was Jack and Samantha…plopping the nasty, stinky milk into his muesli. He said the world will never be the same with those two running around in Heaven.

I have a whole new appreciation and love for this man.

So much love I drug him to Water World yesterday.

This is what every self-respecting, grieving mother does when she loses her child.

She rides the Screamin’ Mimi, gives herself a ginormous water wedgie and holds her hubby’s hand on Tortuga Run.

We really, really needed to get out of the house.

So we did.

And we had a lovely time…..hanging out with the Coslins and the Martins….but every once in a while I would drift off…leave the middle of a conversation to watch a child run into the spray, see a parent chase after a toddler or or gaze at a blue Bob stroller being pushed into the park.

Then I was back.

And I think this is how it will be….a combination of happy and sad, being so touched by what people will do to keep us going, engaged in the conversation and then leave for a while into my own thoughts.

Hubby and I opened the cards from the memorial service last night. So many beautiful words, so many beautiful people.

Hubby would ask….Who is this person? How do we know that person?

She is a therapist, I know her from a TCH committee, he is a friend from high school, they are parents of my college roommate…..

We read cards for three hours.

10 thoughts on “Milk”

  1. You are such a lovely person. ((())) I hope that the happy moments outweigh the sad, that the thought of your two children in heaven and into mischief like curdling the milk will fill your heart and soul with laughter, that you will be comforted in knowing that you do not journey alone, that in addition to the wonderful people in your real world life that you have virtual friends who follow you, care about you, and wish you well.


  2. Curdles, spashes, tears, and laughs.One foot in front of the other, yup.Jack and Sam are rewriting the book on really living, just for you two.Hugs for you and Bart,


  3. Water world…what an excellent idea! I am so glad you went.I think Jack has been waiting for Samantha for a long time and has a mile long list of things for them to do together. I would not be surprised if we hear giggles floating down from above…they are after all the children of water wedgie parents!


  4. I am thinking of you, still shocked and overcome by your loss and glad that you could do this — be together, laughing, sharing joy and grief together. Sending love —


  5. I'll bet that is exactly what your two little angels are up to. They will remind you often that they are doing great in Heaven. They were probably laughing when they saw you and Bart at Water World. Seeing you two having fun makes them feel good. Heather you are pure inspiration to all of us.I hope you will still stop by the pharmacy occasionally to say hi. (like that truck you will not miss, I'm sure good o'l King Soopers will be another place you will not miss) Just remember we will miss you and Miss Sunshine!


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