Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

Grandma Juju’s letter to Smooch

I am still posting readings from the Memorial Service. This is from Grandma Judi…

Samantha—My Sweet, Precious Smooch—

What a gift you are to all of us. During all of your illnesses and hospital stays, your Mama and I would often look at each other and say that you would get well enough for the next outing or party because you were such a loving, considerate little girl. It was often our way of coping with such a difficult situation. And—most of the time, you did, you got better. But not last Sunday. You decided it was time to leave—on your terms.

You faced life with a courage and tenacity that is seldom seen. In spite of all the hardships in your short life, you were still able to smile that wonderful, gummy, drooly smile that melted our hearts. You taught us all to appreciate each precious moment and to treasure the little things. You gave us such joy and love.

Being your Grandma, I got to cuddle, read stories and just BE with you. Snuggling and singing our special Samantha song is one of the highlights of my life. I will always remember those special afternoons of cuddling with my Smooch and singing our secret song:

“I love Samantha, yes I do

I love Samantha and she loves me too

She is my Smoocher , I am her Gran

I am Samantha’s biggest fan!”

Then we would clap hands and say:

“Rah, rah, sis boom bah, Samantha is a rock star, rah, rah, rah, Yeaaaaaah, Samantha.”

You would look up at me with a light in your big, blue eyes and a big smile and we would do it all over again! Time after time until you let me know you had had enough.

You have a special place in my heart and will be with me every day. We all need to go forward and live our lives honoring the love and courage you taught us. I loved every moment of being your Grandma—even during the scary, difficult times.

There are no words to tell you how much I love you and will miss you. Run free, my Smooch, and giggle with your newfound voice. I will do my best to help your Mama and Daddy.


Grandma Juju

1 thought on “Grandma Juju’s letter to Smooch”

  1. “your newfound voice.” Wow–what a profound phrase to use, what with Sam's mom being such a powerful writer and all. And Grandma Juju, from the point of view of someone dealing with ongoing trauma, THANK YOU for being willing and ready to help out the mama and daddy.


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