Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

Lucky Charms

Living with a child as sick as Samantha, the inevitable was in the back of my mind. I hated to think about what could happen, even though I knew the chances of that happening were a very true reality……


What would I do if we lost her????

I always thought I would turn to something dramatic and life changing…..I will live in Africa with the elephants…..I will work with children who have AIDS……I will work tirelessly at Children’s Hospital, consoling parents of terminal children……

Today I went back into the professional world. Surprisingly, I went back to the company I worked at before Samantha got sick.

I decided I didn’t want to work with the elephants……I want something familiar. I want to work with old friends at a job that I liked and I did well.

So I did just that.

Driving in today was a little bittersweet. For as demanding as being Samantha’s mom was, it was seamless and lovely. It will always be my favorite job.

Going back to work is a big step in moving forward….a big necessary step. I couldn’t watch another episode of Oprah, my sweats were starting to fray and I need a little structure and another focus in my life.

And now I have it.

I walked in today to hugs, smiles and comments of we are so happy you’re back. And I am too.

Tomorrow our group is having a breakfast meeting. We’re supposed to bring our favorite, taboo, sugary cereal.

I’m bringing Lucky Charms.


4 thoughts on “Lucky Charms”

  1. How is it possible that you can bring a smile to my face when what you write is part deep sadness and part profound hope?My favorite sugary cereal is Cocoa Puffs (I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs being the reason why…)In all seriousness, how wonderful that you went back to a place where you are loved and, obviously, needed. I wish you luck and success! And please keep us posted!

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  2. It is wonderful that you are able to return to a familiar place to spend your days. You bring new wisdom and understanding that is sure to make you even more successful! YOU will be their “Lucky Charm!!” Love you, Heather!

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  3. Looking forward to catching up and hearing all about it. I think the familiarity is going to be just the thing you need right now! Hope the sugar rush hasn't made you crash too hard by now! Just take another handful from the box if it has! 😉 (and my favorite sugar cereal is fruity pebbles!)

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