Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

I am Not the Statue of Liberty:

My first business trip in years was last week. I went to New York. I LOVE New York, I really do. I love the energy of the city, the shows, the food, the shopping….love it.

I my first consulting gig was on the eve of my 30’s in New York. Ironically, on the eve of my 40’s, I have returned back to my Big Apple.

I returned back in my business suit, heels that felt good in store (now not so sure), laptop in hand…..wondering who I was.

The uniform is the same but the person behind it has changed a bit.

Flying in, I could see the Statue of Liberty. For years I would fly in every week and see my Lady Liberty hanging out in New York harbor. There she was….just as always; same sandals, same book, same torch.

“Hey Libs”’ I said as we flew over (we’re on a first name basis), “how is it that I have had to redefine myself three times in the last ten years, turned completely grey, gone through several identity crisis…. and look at you…you don’t look a day over 120. You haven’t changed a bit.”

She looked up at me with her wise eyes, “Oh Heather, I’ve been holding this stupid torch up for ages. On average, I get struck by lightning four times a year and there is nothing I can do about it. These toes? These toes have been exposed for 44,640 days and no one has had the decency to give me a pedicure. I would love to change it up.”

At this point the plane was heading into Queens so we waved a quick goodbye. There we were, me and Lady Liberty….one who is yearning for a change after 126 years and one who would had just gotten used to her life when it changed drastically once again.

As we landed I begrudgingly slid my feet back into my kitten heals. I thought longingly of the comfy shoes I had left at home. Funny, four years ago I couldn’t even talk about leaving the corporate world behind for a sick child and a pair of sweat pants…..I was so very sad about the change I had to make. I missed the social life of the coorporate world. I yearned for conversations over the Harbor with Libs.

And now we were back where we had met ten years ago…..a bit wiser, both of us needing a pedicure, both looking onto the horizon wondering what is next….both struck by lightning a couple times in the past decade.

Well…….at least I could get a pedicure. So that’s just what I did.

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