Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

What I Want to Hold True

I made a conscious decision to not follow the Casey Anthony trial. It upset me too much and I try to avoid things that upset me. But my work is peppered with flat screen TV’s that play CNN through the day. Every time I left my cubicle to get a soda or run to a meeting, the bathroom, the copier, there was the Casey Anthony trial.

I just want to pee!

It bothered me to hear the horrible details but kind of dismissed it. I knew in my heart of hearts that she would be found guilty…..of something. Our justice system would prevail, wrong would be right, this case would be over and I could go back to watching the stock market while I got my Diet Coke.

On Tuesday I was innocently eating my turkey sandwich when I pulled up MSN and found out that Casey Anthony was found not guilty; on charges of 1st degree murder, manslaughter and child abuse.

I could not finish my lunch.

I had to talk about this.

I turned around to my fellow pod-mates and said, “Casey Anthony was found not guilty.”

My entire group turned around.

Nooooo S*&t,” said my production manager.

“You have to be kidding,” said another.

And we took time out of the day to talk about what just happened. I felt relieved that others felt just as violated and angry as I did.

Because there are certain truths that we want to believe no matter how often we are proven wrong; children should not die. Mother’s should not go out partying when their child is missing. Parents should not be allowed to not report their child missing for 31 days.

We want to believe that we all take care of our children, otherwise we no better than those crazy fish that eat their young.

It felt good in the middle of the day, when ‘work’ had to be done, to express how wrong it is. We connected as a community….me and my pod mates. I felt human, emotional and empathetic and then I could back to doing important marketing ‘stuff’.

A couple months ago I went out with a friend who told me how angry she was for me. “I am so mad that this happened to you!” She said through her tears. “None of this is fair. What kind of world is this?”

It felt good to have someone be mad for me.

It now feels good that people are mad for this little girl.

I read today that Florida has filed a bill that would make it a felony for a caregiver to not report a missing child after a 48 hour period. They are calling it ‘Caylee’s Law’.

This makes me feel better, that others are giving actions to our words and our thoughts that this is wrong. It makes me feel better that in this crazy nonsensical world we are trying to find what we can make right.

Perhaps that is what I want to hold true.

1 thought on “What I Want to Hold True”

  1. We have a legislator here in AL that is going to write/support the same type of bill. It never fails to confuse/anger me that there are so many wonderful people who would be the best parents ever that are denied the opportunity; while there are others who take that blessed opportunity and do something as horrific as this.


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