Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

Moving Forward…not on

Yesterday was Jack’s birthday.

Happy birthday Jack, you would have been seven years old.

Seven years…..holy moly.

Seven years ago, people would say, “It will get easier with time.”

And I wanted to say, Well I certainly hope so because today the sun hurts my eyes and every breath feels bitter.

But life went on.

And the days turned into years. And one year turned into two, two into three. And I no longer counted down the days until his birth, in fact the week kind of snuck up on me.

Crazy life.

We have had horrible fires in Colorado. People have lost a lot- over 300 homes in Colorado Springs.  A friend of mine posted that it’s so odd to continue our daily life with destruction around us. It’s almost a slap in the face to those mourning…….the world should stop but it does not, the birds should not sing, but they do. The tide carries us forward, the clock keeps ticking, the sun rises and sets, and as time goes on, every day becomes a new invitation for us to join.

On Jack’s birthday, I rode 65 miles with our team, Summits for Samantha. They all remembered Jack’s day and wished him Happy Birthday. Hubby and I had a mellow day finished with grassfed, organic ribeyes and a surprise bottle of wine Hubby had found. It was a bottle from France, the same wine we enjoyed from our honeymoon.

To go ‘on’ implies that we forget. To move forward….to gather the beauty and grief we have collected and weave it into this life.

Happy Birthday Jack

3 thoughts on “Moving Forward…not on”

  1. Yes, yes, you said it exactly: to gather the beauty and the grief and weave it into this life we are living … Grief never leaves, but we get used to Grief being a companion, some days silent, some days wreaking noisy havoc.Hugs to you and Bart!Love,Mj


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