Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief


Resilient: Capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture

Psychological resilience is an individuals tendency to cope with stress and adversity. This coping may result in the individual “bouncing back” to a previous state …

I like the first definition the best. Many times I feel like I may rupture 🙂 And I am quite sure I have developed a permanent deformation. 

The last couple weeks I have been privy to a lot of resilient human beings. Nothing makes me more proud of us, as a people, as human beings than the ability to carry on, make the best of things and live our lives with the goal of being happy, especially in the face of adversity. 

We have had these horrible floods. And I have been amazed at the outpouring of generosity in our area AND the resiliency of those who have been affected….. I work with several people who will be displaced for the next couple months, and they come into work, and they attend meetings and if you ask, they will talk about the flood and that they went to the Red Cross for a toothbrush and some new undies and they are crashing on a friends floor....but hey, it’s all good……and when did you need that project? 

And I want to fall at their feet and say Work doesn’t matter! Let me make you a tater tot hot dish! 

But they are gluten and dairy free and tater tot hot dishes don’t convert well to gluten free. So I don’t say what I should say, except that they are resilient superheros. 

Speaking of resilient Superheros, last week was Mitochondrial Awareness Week and we had a support group on Saturday. I love seeing the parents, the kiddos and the hope they have in the face of an ever-changing, craptastic diagnosis. 

That does not stop these families. 

We made thank you cards for our Courage Classic Donors

This is Robert on his bike…..he does an amazing job on this bike! 

Robert likes his bike so much he let Cal try it out. I think Cal liked it too! 

This is my favorite picture. It was a good day. 
This week ended with a visit to Maria and Jacob at Children’s. Jacob has been so sick this week and Maria is so tired. But there was no sense of pity from her, only a sense of moving forward, getting Jacob better: Resilient: withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture
And today I met a new baby brought into this world by a couple who has shown extraordinary resiliency.
“The difference between a strong man and a weak one is that the former does not give up after a defeat.” 
― Woodrow Wilson
To the people in my world, who keep marching on…..keep marching on. 
Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

South of the Big Thompson

You made have heard the news in Northern Colorado…..

It has been raining up here for five days.

Our mountain town of Lyons has been evacuated. Towns up the Big Thompson River are gone, 177 people are unaccounted for, people are now displaced, potentially for weeks. They say this has been the largest air rescue since Katrina. is…still….raining…..

Hubs and I are fine except for the fact that in situations like these I worry excessively. And then I listen to KBCO and songs like Sting’s ‘Fragile’ come on. Have you listened to the words? Good lord….

On and On the rain will fall
Like tears from a star, like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are, how fragile we are

I hate sad songs that have relevance to the situation…and I get all weepy.

And it is still raining. For a while this week our little town of Loveland was split in two. The Big Thompson overflowed cutting off North/South access throughout town. Interstate 25 closed because the Big Ol’ T also decided to flow onto the road and into Weld county- cutting off access into Denver and Wyoming. South of us is Longmont, divided by two full flooding rivers that are wrecking havoc and causing evacuations.

West? West is worst. West is where all of the airlifts are taking place.

I have never been in this situation before. So did what every trapped, weepy, worried, can’t-do-anything-about-it person does.

I went to the grocery store.

Unbeknownst to me, this was the only accessible grocery store in South Loveland. Everything else was North of the Big T and cut off to us. Clearly poor planning. 

This is what I found: 

Hubs and I have contemplated getting a diesel…..hmmmmmm

And Starbucks was closed ……NNNNOOOOOOO…. As I was taking this picture, some surly man told me maybe I should go home and brew my own coffee. I told him this we were in the middle of a national disaster and he should not be hatin’

Yeah. No, I really didn’t say that but kinda wanted to. Life is wild South of the Big T. 

This is the bread aisle at King Soopers! Look at that one little loaf all alone! Apparently Rye Bread is a last choice. Ya’ll don’t know what you’re missing! Turkey on Rye? Fabu! 


No Milk for you! 

This is the bottled water aisle. Hmmmm….we might have to drink beer…..

Or Perrier! Apparently us South of the Big T prefer our water without bubbles! 

Good news is I-25 opened Saturday and we can now get our bread without rye and our water without bubbles.  

Bad news is that it is still raining (have I mentioned this???) and our fellow Coloradans are hurting and in bad shape….Help Colorado and the Red Cross are taking donations, toiletries, blankets, etc. 
If you can give….hot meal, hot shower….clean clothes…..
And ya’ll can come over to our place for a Turkey on Rye and Perrier! 

Stay dry my friends.
Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

You Got the Love

There is a Florence and the Machines song that I rock out to quite often. 

The lyrics go like this: 

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying “Lord I just don’t care”
But you’ve got the love I need To see me through

Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now and then it seems that life is just too much
But you’ve got the love I need to see me through

This is my mantra lately. 

‘Cuz I gotta tell ya, 
Ya’ll got the love. 

Thursday was our Miracles for Mito Silent Auction and in case ya’ll are wondering what we have been doing this past year, here’s a breakdown: 

Financial help for two handicap vans
One Stair lift
One Scooter
Respite Care
Travel expenses to see a Specialist out of State
Meals delivered to families in the hospital
Supplement coverage
Sponsorship into the National Mitochondrial Database
Purchase of the Oxygraph 2K Diagnostic Machineis 

This was only possible because of all of you and your generosity. 

I was quite weepy the week before- as I get when I think of everything our tribe has given….

This is the rocking horse my uncle made and donated…. It is the best rocking horse ever! 

And our fabu, collectors item New Belgium bike donation by our dear Susan and Andy….

Me and Hubs….I didn’t donate him 🙂 

Heather, Heather and Hilary! Hilary managed the event and lovely Heather volunteered. Thank you!!!

Mama and Hilary 🙂

SOOOO much stuff! So generous! 

Add caption

Our beautiful Mito Superstars

Lovely friends who have met because of our Mito kids. 

Me and the Prez 🙂 As a side note, I TOTALLY kidnapped that necklace. I bid on it but decided I would ‘model’ it before the bidding closed. 

This night….THIS NIGHT….I could have floated on the love and hope in the air. The money donated will continue to support our families.

And it is all because of you all. 

You got the Love

Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

I am Sad about Syria

It’s our favorite Sunday ritual.

Hubs and I sleep in. 

We have breakfast and a pot of coffee and watch ‘Meet the Press’. Sometimes we argue with the TV, the commentators, or each other while we eat our egg sandwiches and prep for the week. 

Today they talked about Syria. 

And I cried. My God, those pictures kill me. They physically cause me pain…the uncovered feet… 

This is not a political post. I don’t care where you sit on this issue politically. 

Where do you sit as a person? At what point in time do we say, as a breathing, thinking, moral person, this is horrific, unacceptable and awfully sad?

1,400+ people were gassed. It is gravest chemical attack in 25 years. Do you know how long that was? I was 17.

And I have no solution. Boots on ground? Military strike? I have no idea. 

But I know I am sad. 

And I think it is okay for us, as a society, to be sad, to voice our sadness, and not have any solution at all. 

We don’t always have the answers. 

This, by the way is why I’m not president, or a member of the congress, so I can just be sad without a solution. Because I could totally be president.


And it’s not to say I was sad the whole day. I shed tears over my coffee and went onto have a lovely day. 

Perhaps that is what living with a grief you cannot solve does to you. Everyday I am sad about a situation I cannot solve. I am sad about my daughter….not all day everyday….but at sometime during the day, there is a pang I cannot heal. 

We cannot solve what happened on August 21st. It is out of our control. But we can react, as compassionate people and voice that this is wrong. Even if we only talk to friends and family, we recognize that the inhumanities of the world make us hurt. They hurt. 

And I think that’s okay. Maybe I, .as a free-thinking person can say this is wrong, this is so wrong it hurts my soul. And maybe we talk about it…. that’s all I know what to do….and maybe that’s okay