Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief


“Eating with the fullest pleasure- pleasure, pleasure, that is, that does not depend on ignorance- is perhaps the profoundest enactment of our connection with the world. In this pleasure we experience our dependence and our gratitude, for we are living in a mystery, from creature we did no make and powers we cannot comprehend” 

-Wendall Barry

Last night I dined with these lovely people-                                                                                                                                                                                              

Aren’t they quite fabulous? The Wendall Barry quote was read before we ate, before we ate porcini risotto, green salad with beets, blood oranges and contemplated the powers we cannot comprehend. 

And I felt so peaceful, I could have licked contentment from a spoon.

It was ironic I felt this way, so at peace.  Hubs and I had spent the day at Hospice in Cheyenne, saying goodbye to Cynde’s Mom, Mary. It’s funny, coming into families from divorces and remarriages …..Mary always made us feel welcome and loved. As a 12 year old trying to figure out where I fit in the world- this was pretty great. 

Mary also told Dad and Cynde not to worry about my lack of cleaning my room as a teenager….which I always appreciated 🙂 

Mary passed this morning, 9 years to the day of when her husband Dale died. Coincidence? Nah. Lovely? Absolutely.

We are living in a mystery…..states Wendall Barry

Hospice centers amaze me. A place full of living people helping dying people move onto the next place….and helping us living accept the fact that we are still living and must stay here….and maybe try 
to be happy. 

What an amazing concept. 

It felt very peaceful yesterday. Everyone knew this was the right place, the right time and Mary was ready to go on. Yesterday, I kissed Mary goodbye and told her to tell my girl hello. 

To experience this in one hour and then feast on good food, with good people and a three year old who insists on dressing Hubs in a hard hat and a mustache, the next….what a movement of who we are as people….and the joy, sadness, acceptance, love, gratitude, we can experience in one day

….how dynamic life is. 

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart” unknown. 

Rest in peace, Mary.

And for us left here….life will always be sad, hard, confrontational, unexpected. But risotto, beet salad and lovely friends make a good, unforgettable evening

…we are who we are through our connections. 

And a goatee. 


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