Life Today


Yesterday marked the end of our July anniversaries. It is the day we lost our girl- 5 years ago. 

By the time we have hit this day, we have marked Jack’s birthday, Samantha’s birthday, rode 155 miles, raised 6 figures (almost!). The day passes with remembrance and notes from sweet friends (thank you) a good bottle of wine, gratitude for where we are today, and a nap.

To make this day a little more complicated, this summer I signed up for a Half Ironman. 

So Saturday involved a run. 

I like to run like I enjoy being attacked by rabid raccoons or doped up monkeys but I am trying to channel my distaste for running into something zen, to find my inner trot pony. 

Speaking of ponies, I finished my 10 miles on Saturday, went back to my car only to find myself trapped… a parade. I somehow parked at the official ending of the Larimer County Fair Parade. 

This is a big deal. And a long parade. 

I called Hubs. 

“I’m done. I would love to come home but I’m stuck behind a parade.” 

“A parade? Is it a long parade?” 

“It’s a slow parade.” 

“Well enjoy. Everyone loves a parade.” 

I walked my tired feet through crowds of horses, people and goats to a park. Ironically it was the park where we held Samantha’s memorial picnic. 

Okay, I got it. 

The park had changed a bit but there was still the great water feature, ladybug monkey bars, and multiple birthday parties. I filled my water bottle and headed over to the stream that runs by the park; a parade official stopped me, “Would you like some tootsie rolls?”

Why yes, I would love a tootsie roll. Tootsie Rolls are after all delicious and I was just chased ten miles by doped up monkeys.  

I sat by the river, soaked my tootsies in the cool water and munched on my tootsie rolls. Huh, did you realize your toes are tootsies and there are also tootsie rolls?? Crazy. 

I thought about this all as I sat by the river. A little blond girl in a cowboy hat and jeans came up. She took off her cowboy boots and sat in the river- hat and jeans and all- made eye contact with me and gave me the best smile. 

And this was right where I should be. 

Walking back to the car, I encountered ten horses wearing birthday hats- of course I did, because that’s what horses do when they have a birthday. 

I got into my car and I thanked my girl……for making me stop, soak my feet in the river, eat a tootsie roll and see the birthday horses in hats. 

In the words of Margo Nickel “Whenever you wear your hat, that day will be special.” 

Miss you Miss.

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