My senior year in high school I dated a young man who was searching for his identity.
In the meantime he introduced me to great morose music. The Smiths, Morrissey, Kate Bush….Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel.
In times of uncertainty, I go back to this music
In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight taught to win
I never knew I could fail
This week I have been tasked with taking black and white pictures and posting them on Facebook. I took this today while waiting at a red light.
These are Samantha’s pink shoes. They sit on my dashboard of my car. I like the crack in the windshield along with the rain, along with the pink shoes. The dichotomy of life.
My girl who is no longer with me but with me everyday- perched next to the crack in the windshield.
I watched in disbelief today and cried. I hate who we are sometimes.
I don’t know why we do what we do.
But I have met enough people along my path, heard enough stories in my life to know that there are bad people in this world.
And nothing will change that. Bad people will find a way to be bad.
And that is outstandingly shitty because most of us are not bad. Sure, we all have moments of assiness but 99.99% of us cannot fathom what the bad people do.
And this evil rocks our world
Because it should.
Where do we go from here?
Grab your people. Hold them tight. Look in the eyes, kiss on the lips. Tell your loves you love them.
All we have each other. Which sounds trite- it is not skin or bone but it is connection. At times it is pink mary janes on a dashboard.
It is who we are; our stories, our vulnerability, our ability to relate, embrace, love, laugh, connect.
It sounds like nothing when so much has been taken. But sometimes when all has been taken, it is so much.
And at times it is all we have.