Unravel

Sigh.

That is my post-two-girls-weekends’ sigh. My post belly laugh, very dehydrated, kinda tired, so grateful sigh.

The past 20 months took so much: over 5 Million souls worldwide, 775,000 in the US.

The past 20 months reset everything; our work, our relationships, our health, our trust.

Personally, I have navigated these times somewhat unscathed, so unscathed and so distracted by everything else going on the in world, that I didn’t realize I was kind of scathed.

We need each other- not just in a zoomie call sense or a text-you sense but a I need my people in a deep hug, embrace you, committed time sense. In the last 20 months of convincing myself I was okay, I forgot how much I miss you and that I’m really not so okay if I can’t be right there with you.

Driving up to Vail on Girl’s Weekend part 2, I was talking to a friend on how best to connect when things are chaotic. “When things are nuts,” she said, “I can’t dive into the nuttiness over a quick conversation. I need time; time to unravel my feelings, time to separate myself from the chaos.”

I laughed at the irony, “So when I call on my way to swim and I say I have ten minutes and cell phone service is bad but I really want to know how are you doing……that’s not helpful?”

I love this word….unravel.

To unravel: to resolve the intricacy, complexity, obscurity of……..

Unravel takes time; coffee by the pool, hikes in Vail Valley. Unravel takes hugs so deep you feel the others’ shoulders relax and you breathe the same breath. Unravel takes trust, heads on shoulders, someone grabbing your hand and saying, “I’m so sorry about your Grandma,” and you holding back and saying, “I’m so sorry about your Mama.”

Unravel is a box of See’s Candy purchased last minute in the airport to honor a dear Love, Melissa Etheridge, Crowded House and an impromptu dance party. It’s only once the tension is released and the knots loosen that what once seemed like an insufferable, unworkable mess becomes the material for the next great project.

I forgot how lovely it was to unravel with my friends. The importance of unraveling. The need to unravel.

After two glorious weekends, I came home and kissed my husband; my partner in these last twenty months, the one who consoled me when I told him through big tears during our stay at home orders that I needed him to be a better girlfriend. My person during this time.

“How was the weekend?” he asked.

“So lovely. I love this time with my beautiful, strong, complex friends. We unraveled.”