I can count on one hand the times when I have truly have not understood the plan that God has designed for myself or my Loves. That is not to say there are other times when I have been sad, angry or distraught. But shattered and unable to make sense, that has been few.
This week has been shattering. And anytime something breaks into a million pieces, we are left behind holding the shards, wondering how the hell to piece something back together. We hurt. And knowing that the people we love are experiencing a hurt a 1,000 times ours, there are no words.
There is no fix. And at times it feels there is not enough strength, grace or patience.
But there has been love. Lots of love. An outpouring waterfall of Love.
I did not know Jackson well. But I love his Mama fiercely. And I love that in this shattered time, she has shared Jackson with the world- amazing, caring, beautiful, talented, humble Jackson.
I have thought of him often. And I have thought of how I would like to carry this lovely soul in my space- my world needs a little bit of Jackson……..
- When I kiss my Mama: which I intend to do more of
- When I golf with my dad
- Heck, even when I golf
- When I wear blue
- When someone calls me Ma’am- Jackson made Ma’am a compliment
- Anytime I pass a Texas Roadhouse
- When the Aggies play ball (I might even become a fan)
- Dimples- any dimples, any time
- When I do anything of service
- Wrestle with my nephews
- Dr. Pepper
- Anytime Russell Wilson makes a touchdown!
- If I ever give birth to an 11-pound baby (I know this one is a stretch but if it happens, I will think of Jackson)
- Anytime I am with his Mama.
This list is woefully short, but I know that is temporary. I look forward to adding more Jacksonisms in my life.
I will start with a Dr. Pepper.