Sometimes you need a good cry.

Not a tear or two that you quickly wipe away, but the kind that steals your breath. The down-and-out, ugly cry.

I’m a big advocate of the ugly cry.

Because life doesn’t stop. Laundry still needs to be done. Meals still need to be made. Bills still need to be paid. The dog still needs to be walked.

Meanwhile, grief waits patiently.

It has a funny way of showing up when you least expect it.

Lately, I’ve been walking my brother’s service dog. I love that dog and all of his opinionated little ways. He’s the slowest walker on the planet, stopping at every mailbox, light pole, stubby tree and random rock to investigate which dog came before him. Every stop requires careful consideration and, naturally, a signature mark of his own.

It can make for a very slow walk.

So I listen to music.

And sometimes, I cry.

Spotify has an uncanny ability to notice the one song that hits you right in the heart, then fill your playlist with ten more just like it.

Lately, that song has been Pink Skies by Zach Bryan.

There’s one line that undoes me every single time:

“If you could see ’em now, you’d be so proud.”

Most days it brings a tear or two.

The last few days…

It’s brought the ugly cry.

Because those words make me think of Ryan.

Last weekend, two of the Phews attended Camp Erin, a weekend camp for children and teens who have experienced the death of someone they love.

I’ll be honest—I have struggled with grief groups over the years. I wanted this weekend to be different for them. I wanted them to feel seen, understood and maybe even find a little joy in the middle of something so hard.

In true Phew fashion, they did exactly that.

They connected with their counselors. They played a lot of basketball. They drummed until their arms were tired. They laughed. They made friends. They were even interviewed by Jeremy Hubbard from FOX31. Bereavement camp hosts more than 50 Colorado kids to help them cope with grief

Watching the clips and hearing about their weekend filled my heart in a way I wasn’t expecting.

Because they are growing up.

They’re becoming remarkable young men.

Kind.

Funny.

Thoughtful.

Resilient.

If you could see them now…

You’d be so proud.

Nice job, brother.

You can find out more at: Shimmering Wings – Shimmering Wings Camp Erin-Denver