The Samantha Years

Filter Free

I’m not sure if it’s my aging mind, lack of sleep, PTSD or a combination of the three but sometimes the filter between my head and mouth does not work quite so well.

This can be problematic.

Since we spend SO much time at Children’s, I have been asked to sit on a couple boards; giving my opinion from a parents point of view. This is very helpful for all caregivers but I do have to remember to bite my tongue from time to time, scale down my anxiety, my angst, my frustration. I have to remember to use my filter.

I forgot my filter on Friday.

I was sitting at the table telling our latest story. The story of Samantha, the nurse and the 106 degree temperature. Out of my mouth popped “That nurse is just lucky to still be here.”


That was kind of harsh to a TCH board. I was told later that I never sound upset or vindictive when I talk about our hospital stays……until Friday.

I tried to explain that I didn’t mean any harm in the statement. I was just upset and that sometimes when I get that upset I wish I could morph into a praying mantis and bite the heads off of those who seem problematic; those who are getting in the way of our care. (For those who are frightened and confused, please see Morph from July 09)

Well, wishing to bite someone’s head off didn’t sound very friendly either did it?

Where is my filter?????

Not sure if TCH will invite me back 🙂

This evening I was watching a Discovery episode on Grizzly Bears. The weather has turned fallish, I’ve stopped shaving my legs above the knees and am therefore feeling a bit bearish.

I listened with intent.

“Getting between a mother bear and her cubs is extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.”

Now there, that’s my answer, why can’t I have a warning like that?

“Getting between a Heather Bear and her Samantha is extremely dangerous. The Heather Bear may morph at anytime and bite your head off.”

If I only had a caption, I wouldn’t have to worry if I forgot my filter…..

“what happened to your head?”

“I had a run-in with a Heather Bear.”

“Oh, ouch….well that’s a Heather Bear for you….they will bite your head right off….dangerous animals….adorable but dangerous (hahaha)

The Discovery program ended with the Mama Grizzly being shot with a rifle-looking tranquilizer gun and relocated with her cubs deeper in the woods. Apparently, she had become a bit too threatening.


I’m looking for a stronger filter.

4 thoughts on “Filter Free”

  1. I LOVE IT! I think the BEST Momma's are the Momma Bears. I'm with you! Protecting the person you love is an instinct – where would we be without it? You're an inspiration for us all… Filter or no filter! Raaaarrrrr:-)


  2. Let it fly Heather! Momma bear or praying mantis, you are Samantha's best ally. She needs you and although they mostly do a good job, don't let them make you question your instincts. You go girl!


  3. Well said. And I bet the TCH board has heard such before. Just act as if you are past all that the next time you see all of them. I love the analogy to a momma grizzly, dear Heather-bear. Be brave, and strong and kiss little Sam-cub on her sweet head for me.


  4. advisory boards, doctors, therapists and other professionals need to accept that truth that they are working with parents who can and will get very upset on occasion. In fact, they should get upset on occasion. It is unfair to expect us to keep our emotions “in check” all the time.


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