Samsmom: Life, Joy, Loss and Loving your Mitochondria

Santa Fe

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Hschichie

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I am posting from Santa Fe….

I left hubby in Loveland to hold the house down and water the garden….

I am using this time as a soul-searching, time-to-contemplate couple of days.

Today I walked out to the pool, sat in the sun and read a book.

I also watched the clouds and would look for faces and images in the sky; some I liked and some I didn’t, some seemed menacing and some comforting but they all changed as the wind blew in….

all the images changed.

I miss her and keep searching for her in simplest of places…a flower, a butterfly, an image in a cloud, a smell.

The finality of what we have lost is starting to settle in.

8 responses to “Santa Fe”

  1. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    love — she's in everything you love —

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  2. HeatherS Avatar
    HeatherS

    Thank you Elizabeth….she certainly is

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  3. Deana Avatar
    Deana

    She is in everything, and everywhere you are, because now you carry her in your heart. I pray you find some comfort there…xo

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  4. KWombles Avatar
    KWombles

    ((()))

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  5. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    Hugs…Somehow I have a knack for calling at the wrong time. I hope to hear your wonderful voice soon. Be good to yourself 🙂

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  6. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    I keep writing and then deleting. I just can't find the right words, there really are no words. Hugs to you Heather, big huge hugs.

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  7. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    The finality is, in fact, the most crushing thing the “left behind” have to cope with.But at the risk of sounding like a cheesey 7-11 greeting card, for Sam, the finality of all her barriers makes her free to be the wind, the clouds, the coming crisp air of Fall.I know that that doesn't make it easier when all you want is her wagon beside you at the pool. And I think it's probably very strange for you to be in a place where it's all about you, right my selfless friend? It's the ride….always a ride.Alissa

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  8. Lauren Orosco Avatar
    Lauren Orosco

    Heather, she is everywhere. I want to tell you about my sisters journey. We have to have coffee soon. I hope what I have to tell you will comfort you. Be good to yourself, enjoy your time alone. A big hug, Lauren

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Hello,

I’m Heather

Welcome to Samsmom and over 15 years of stories about love, loss, grief and the process of moving forward. It’s not always pretty here, but it’s honest. I’m a writer, a fund raiser, rare disease advocate, Mom of two Littles who are no longer here, Wife of Hubs, Aunt to the Phews, daughter, friend and unapologetically me.

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