Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

Life is Like….

Adios dear February. I bid you adieu….


One of my Valentine’s treats is the big box of chocolates. I hate to admit it but I love them…the sugary cherry fluff wrapped around dark chocolate, the decadence of having just one more peice….oh…..yum…

and every once in while you get that one bonbon, that one nasty little tidbit that makes you say,

“what the???”

Why does every box of chocolate have to contain the nasty chocolate? Is it a prerequisite?

Just because it is covered in chocolate does not make it better.

But then you get a Carmel and it’s all okay.

Hence my February….a combination of the good and the bitter.

We have lost two Grandmas this February.


I know, it is a wonderful thing that I am 40 and have so many Grandparents but it breaks my heart and I still miss them.

We had a wonderful fundraiser and raised $1,300 for Miracles for Mito!

My grandfather is in the hospital and unresponsive.

Hubby and I went to Hawaii!

And we kicked off a wonderful website.

Two dear friends had to put two dear puppies down this month

It is a lot of emotion, a lot of yummy bonbons surrounded by the stealth, chocolate covered poopie bonbons.

I do not like the poopie bonbons.

I could have left the month happy with the combination of the positive and the negative. Taking the good with the bad. I would be okay

But tonight my friend Amanda posted that her close friend had to say goodbye to her son, baby Braxton, her tiny 24 weeker who had endured 8 surgeries in his short life. I think he was born right around the time we lost Samantha. He fought on for quite a while. I never met Baby Braxton but Amanda and I cheered him on while sitting at the Breckenridge Brewery contemplating this crazy, crazy life.

My heart aches for this family and wonders if the ache ever gets better.

So, for February, poopie bonbons one…..dark chocolate covered Carmel’s zero.


May we find the sweet in March.

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