Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

United Flight 203 to LaGuardia

Airplane travel still continues to crack me up. I always feel like I’m a bit outside of my body when I travel.

I also feel like people are a bit out of their mind when they travel. It is quite the observation on human behavior.

And certain things still crack me up…..

There is the flight attendant who wears earplugs during the flight and talks 5 decibels above what is necessary….

“Would you like a drink????”

“Club soda please.”


“Club soda.”

“I’m sorry we are all out of Pringles.”

Never mind.”

“Here’s your apple juice.”


And the man…..the man who leaves the seat up on the airplane toilet.

The airplane toilet!!!!

As if it weren’t‘ bad enough with that blue stuff in the bowl and bad smelling hand soap.

He left the toilet seat up.


And I think….he must do this at home….because who does this???? Who leaves a toilet seat up for strangers????

In the lovely lavatory, I lean myself up against the door, hike my suit skirt up and use the tip of my heel to kick the seat back down. Who knows what is on the nasty thing.

I curse my small bladder.

Curse you small bladder!

There is not enough Purell to combat the bathroom lavatory, especially when the seat has been left up.

But there are also times when I have found a good restaurant while waiting for the next leg. I sip Shiraz and munch bruschetta because there is nothing else to do. I find myself introspective and observant while waiting for a United flight to take me somewhere.

I hate to admit it, but I kind of enjoy those times.

Maybe I’ll get some Pringles.

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