Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

And so it is Mother’s Day

HAHA! Happy Mother’s Day! It is also my day to post on our Miracles for Mito webpage. I find it slightly ironic that I was given Mother’s Day because although I am not bitter, I am glad the day is done.

I am glad I no longer have to listen to Tom Shane commercials touting the beauty of Motherhood and that it can only be truly celebrated with a diamond pendant; one for each child. I am glad that the hype from the Time Magazine article on breastfeeding has died down a little…..”Are you Mom Enough?” really?

Farewell Mother’s Day for another 365 days!

Hubby and I spent it in full rebellion of the Day. We spent the weekend in Beaver Creek with our lovely friends/family,  Scott and Tracy… children, only wine and a hot tub.


Scott and Tracy, like us, thought their family would look different. It is refreshing and comforting to be with others whose expectations were different but still want to celebrate and honor their life.

Because here is what I have realized about parenting. There were many things in my life that I wanted to do but could not.

– I could not get into Harvard (I am many things but not a student)

– I could not get on the cheerleading team (really, my flying dutchman was quite horrific)

– I could not run a 7 minute mile (I am quite slow and have come to terms with that)

I was never told I could not be a parent. In fact, I was told to take precautions to NOT be a parent. I think many of us non-parents are in the same boat. This seemed kinda easy, why is it so hard?

And I know what many of my lovely friends would say right now, “Heather, you will always be a Mom.”

Which is lovely and nice but my children do not need my 24/7. In fact, they are just fine on their own.

And leaves hubby and I to find different ways to live our life.

Thank Goodness for Beaver Creek, Scott and Tracy, a hot tub and wine.

And thank goodness for my husband, who gave me a card this morning that said “If I had to do it all over again, I know that I would choose you.” 

Which sounds a little odd until you realize that hubby and I both carry some odd rescessive gene and the chances of us finding another person with this gene is about 1 and 800. If we both had chose someone else, our Mother’s Day might be very different. But we chose each other and it is so comforting that we are grateful for that dispite some really awful circumstances.

This Mother’s Day we also found a ski shop that had ski boots at 50% off. I am now the owner of new ski boots and custom insoles. SOOOO much better than a Tom Shane necklace.

Thank you hubby 🙂

So this Mother’s Day I celebrate expectations and moving beyond them. For those of us who thought we would be Moms. For those who have lived through a loss….missing their child or missing their mom. To honoring the life we now live, Happy Mother’s Day.

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