Nitty Gritty Dirty Grief

Because Nothing Rhymes with Teen

I take issue with this whole decade- the entire ten years. 

Because nothing rhymes with Teen. 

Except keen and mean and bean. 

How am I supposed to find a meaningful mantra based on those words? 

For instance, I am about to turn 44. My 44 mantra is “44! Shut the front door!” 

Because 44 is on the verge of being an adult which is unbelievable to me. How could I possibly be an adult. Hence my surprise…..“Shut the front door!” 

And it’s cute, because it rhymes, or maybe it’s not cute but it’s my thing. 

43 was “43, what am I supposed to be?” 

I am still looking to answer that question so if you know and would like to fill me in, that would be great. 

But 2015? “2015 is gonna be keen!” 


“No one should be mean during 2015.” 


And this goes on for a whole decade! No wonder I have felt out of sorts; looking for answers, cleansing, meditating, wandering, searching….I have no yearly mantra. 

Christmas, New Years and my Birthday; they all come within three weeks of each other; leaving me with a holiday hang-over. I have told my parents they should have considered better family planning to make me a content, well rounded, holiday-balanced person. 

This falls upon deaf ears. 

2015 is gonna be keen! 

We opened the door on 2014, let the old year out and the new year in. We do this every year- leave the front door open for a couple minutes to allow the changing of the guards.  This year it was really a good thing, we were in a condo with three sweaty boys, we needed a little fresh air. 

365 days is a long time- a lot of living happens in those days; we grieve, we laugh, we fall in love, we give birth, people die, we say hello, we say goodbye. We live. 

I was in yoga the other day. It’s hot yoga and I sweat like a man. At the end of the class, our teacher gives us a cold cloth soaked in lavender water.  I love this part of class and I wait for that cool cloth like a monkey waits for a banana, love that part of class. Everything is gonna be alright, I have a cool lavender cloth to make me smell good and mop up my man sweat . 

It is at this time, after I’m all stretchy and stinky, that our teacher says something profound. This week it was about the new year….If we knew everything that was going to happen, we wouldn’t need to experience it. There would be nothing to learn, explore, or gain. So often it is the surprises of the moments and hours, the unexpected twists and turns that give our lives meaning to our journey and make our lessons come alive. 

The New Year comes in all fresh and clean, like that lavender cloth on our tired heads. But who we are is not made up in the sum of 365 days- it is moment by moment, hours, laughs, tears, turns that we forget and turns that forever impact our lives. 

And with some research, I did find my mantra. It is unassuming and leaves no expectations. In fact, it speaks nothing but the truth. 

2015, I do love my caffeine. 

To a new year. 

1 thought on “Because Nothing Rhymes with Teen”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s