This is from one of my favorite songs. It’s by Dido and called Thank You…..

Here’s what has happened in the last 24….

I left you all sad and scared but getting a handle on our unknown future.

Around 8:00, we had 2 visitors donning our wonderful sign telling the seizures to stay away! Our lovely friend Jenny, commissioned her sister who volunteers on the 6th floor to make this sign. Isn’t it lovely?

To have people deliver this, which verbalizes all I want for our little girl right now, well I just lost it. Poor Jenny’s sister, Mary….all I could do was just cry, and hug her and finally offer her a Milano cookie. Our sign hangs on the door of 845 warning the seizure monsters to stay away.

And day one of the wean…..they have stayed away. Samantha has had a good day. She is awake and smiley.

To make matters a little more interesting, hubby is still stuck in Budapest due to the volcano. The time of return has been pushed back later and later as Iceland continues to erupt.

Nothing makes me feel more vulnerable than a sick Samantha and a stranded husband.

Last night, hubby set up ‘command central’ to try and reschedule a flight home. He looked up flights, called the airline, was put on hold, and promptly fell asleep while waiting for a Rep.

His coworkers woke him up. They found him an itinerary.

If all goes well, Hubby will fly from Budapest to Bucharest (Hungary to Romania)….

To Rome…(only to spend a night in Rome)

To Boston….

To Us….

Two days, five cities….

Hubby’s co-workers are scheduled to return much, much later; Wednesday if the volcano behaves itself. They put this itinerary together for us….so he could be with us in the hospital. They did this while hubby, perhaps a tad overwhelmed, slept on the couch.

Thank you hubby coworkers and friends….really…thank you.

We still don’t know if he will get home but we have people pulling, rooting, finding a way to get him home….to us.

thank you.

Your calls and emails have been so wonderful. I’m sorry they have not all been returned but they are all read and will be returned…

In the meantime, thank you 🙂

P.S…..here are a couple links for Samantha….

To send her a Children’s Hospital Card

To light a candle

Today we came to the conclusion that it’s time to take Samantha off the ketogenic diet. It’s been a good run; 2 1/2 years on this super high-fat, seizure controlling diet. But 2 1/2 years of eating nothing but olive oil, butter, cream and an occasional teeny, tiny carb has had its toll on her body.

Her pancreas is inflamed, her blood is lipemic, her cholesterol is through the roof and she is very lethargic.

An ultra sound today revealed that her pancreas is in worse shape than 2 months ago….time to make a change.

We will start the wean tomorrow; slowly introducing her new, carb friendly diet.

What does this mean?

We have great seizure control on the diet and we have not had to make a med change. If she weans off, we have no idea how her seizure activity will be.

If she stays on the diet, she will have seizure control but it will continue to compromise her liver, pancreas and kidneys.

Great options, huh?

So tomorrow, 8:00 am, it begins. We will wean her in the hospital so we have access to the big-dog seizure meds and super-smart specialists should we need them.

I found myself at Super Target looking for new underwear after my conversation with the doctors. Myself and I mulled over this by the briefs…..

What are you afraid of?

That she will seize, and seize and seize and we won’t be able to stop it. That the diet was the one thing giving us an ounce of control in Samantha’s life.

What if it’s not? What if she has some seizures, we adjust her meds, and she does okay? What if, for the first time in 2 1/2 years, you could actually give her a healthy, blended diet, with food that is good for her body and not hard on her system?

What if she’s not okay?

Well what if she is?

Myself had a point….we just don’t know and we just need to try….for the health of Samantha’s very important organs….we need to try.

So I bought myself a pair of neon-green polka dotted panties. I will call them my big-girl, anti-seizure pants.

I will wear them tomorrow….and the next day….and the next.

Tonight there is no cutesy analogy, no superheros, no dead customer service people.

Just a note of thanks from us to you all.

I often blog as a reminder that we are not alone in this fight for Samantha’s health. Along the way, I have met, and through you all created, a network of support that is thick as steal, tight as glue and absolutely priceless.

Thank you.

We’re still on the 8th floor tonight. Samantha has looked better but she’s also definitely been sicker. She’s running a low-grade fever and the doctors are thinking a urinary tract infection is the culprit. We’re also doing an ultra-sound of her pancreas, kidneys and bladder tomorrow to rule out pancreatitis.

Home tomorrow? Keep your fingers crossed. At the very least, we’re hoping to be home on Friday when Hubby gets back from Hungary.

But thank you…..my absolutely priceless network of support. You are well……absolutely priceless.

We have been spoiled by the Special Care Clinic at Children’s Hospital. Our wonderful Nurse B who operates the phone, knows my voice, knows Samantha, knows our case and has a wonderful way of listening and calming me down when Samantha seems really sick.

She will also move mountains to get us in at the last minute.

We are very, very lucky. We also have our fabulous Dr. E. who I have adopted as yet another Mom in my life.

It takes a village.

When our little Gotham City is burning, I pick up the bat phone, send out the bat signal and viola’, there are our Superheros.

I have become very used to our Superhero service….and as a result, get a little snippy when the bat phone is not available.

Yesterday there was a little fire in Gotham City. Our bat phone was busy and wonderful Nurse B was out in clinic.

Crap-a-roo….it is hard to explain to others who have not seen Samantha crash, how quickly she can crash. When we call, we really need to talk to someone who knows her and because I know the bat phone is a privilege, I try to only send the signal out when we need it.

Although lately it seems like we need it pretty often.

So I call and get Nurse B’s substitute for the day. There is no Dr. E until the afternoon and Nurse B is seeing patients. No matter, their are other Superheros who can help save Gotham City.

What about Aquaman? Booked solid through the day….sick jellyfish.

Wonder Woman? Took the invisible jet on vacation.

Batman’s trusty sidekick Robin? Robin’s an intern but knows us well.

Surely, there must be some Superfriend who knows us and is available. I am flying the bat signal after all. But to a nurse running busy phones, every mom is explaining their fragile sick child and every case sounds dire.

Fortunately, one of my super powers is that I can be tad tenacious, perhaps a bit ‘firm’ and persistent when it comes to Gotham in trouble. (Substitute Nurse might insert another adjective but that’s fine). My continuous flashing of the bat signal got us through to Nurse B who of course, delivered superhero service.

Our ‘Batman’, our Dr. E., met us in the Emergency Room with her bat belt and a list of metabolic tests for Samantha. I greeted her at the door with hug and told her she can never, ever leave the bat cave.

We have also been told that the importance of responding to our bat signal will be relayed to every nurse who works the special care phones…..apparently we will be on a ‘bat list’.

Our Gotham can burn pretty hot….what would we do without our Superfriends.

Alas….so we wait…..

for lab results,

for a doctor,

for a room,

for a little direction on what the next 12 hours will look like.

Plans are moved, altered, canceled, tweaked, rearranged; new plans are made.

Success takes on a new meaning…..an I.V in only three tries, a comfortable child, a move out of the ER, getting that one nurse we really like, finding a leftover piece of dark chocolate in the bottom of my purse…..how long has that been there? No matter.

Lil’ Miss is a little puny this afternoon so we will be watching her from the 8th floor at Children’s….waiting for some answers and improved lab results as she re hydrates. Our fabulous Dr. E just came in for a visit.

We’re in good hands while we wait.

…..the rest is not our business” T.S. Eliot

Samantha is not on antibiotics….for the first time in months.

Am I a little nervous that these nasty infections will come back? Oh yeah. But right now we’re holding steady. We’re trying some things that are a little non-traditional but what the heck, “for us there is only the trying.”

What are we trying? We’re trying Grapefruit Seed Extract to combat Samantha’s MRSA. I use it topically to clean her ears and they have never looked better. She HATES it when I touch her ears but she’s tolerating this…..I think because it feels okay to her. NO MRSA antibiotics. Keep your fingers crossed.

Samantha is also on fish oil to combat her high cholesterol from the Ketogenic diet. Lately I thought I could cheat and use the cheaper fish oil capsules. It’s all fish oil right? I found out that the ‘good fat’ concentration is much, much less in the capsules; the difference of thousands of milligrams less. So if you’re taking fish oil for health benefits, pony up and pay for the liquid, otherwise you’re just taking smelly fish pills; nothing more.

Just my two cents.

The last new thing we’re trying with Samantha is real salt. My smart blogger buddy Fawn over at Fawnahareo’s Place, disclosed to us that our table salt has sugar in it. Seriously, go get your container of Morton’s, at the bottom it states that it contains dextrose.

Sugar… in our salt. This seems very silly to me. Table salt has also been stripped of anything our bodies might need.

REAL salt contains minerals necessary for the proper functioning of our bodies; substances that help to make up the proper chemical balance of our blood. When Samantha gets sick, she has a hard time maintaining her potassium, calcium and other minerals found in her blood…..all of these things are found in ancient sea salt. So off to Vitamin Cottage we went for ancient, all natural sea salt with 50+ trace minerals including iodine.

Have I completely lost it? Analyzing labels? Tweaking? Trying? Reading the Morton’s salt container?

Perhaps. But as healthy people, our bodies can handle and process quite a lot.

These fragile little Muffins however need to work with what is optimal for them….the best fish oil with all sorts of fatty nutrients, pricey, salty, salt loaded with minerals and no trace of sugar.

Will it make a difference? “For us there is only the trying, the rest is not our business.”

Today’s post….Memento, can be found Under the Cuckoo Clock.

Have a lovely day 🙂

I am preaching to the choir here but I have something stuck in my craw and I must clear it….

Bear with me.

Blogiquette….how do you behave when on someone’s blog?

I only ask because I have seen some nastiness out there lately….some mild, some downright appalling. I wonder what makes people feel that they can post anything on someone else’s blog.

Well they put it out there….

This seems to be the number reason for posting unhelpful, even insulting comments on another blog.

Here is my comparison…..to the put it out there comment…

You invite me to dinner….we don’t know each other that well and I’ve never been to your house but I accept because you seem interesting and mildly entertaining.

I show up and immediately comment that I hate the color of your entry way. I scrutinize your family pictures and say your Aunt Helga looks looks like a man. I traipse into your house while wearing my muddy boots and talking too loud.

You hand me glass of Merlot. I say I prefer Chardonnay. I also dislike the Louis Armstrong CD you’re playing, your carpet is too scratchy and the Ansel Adams above your fireplace is incredibly outdated.

And you’re a dork.

Through dinner I disagree with everything you say. I hate your meatloaf. I leave with my muddy boots still on, kick your cat and throw up in your rose bushes.

When we visit another blog, especially a family blog, it’s a personal look into someone’s life. It’s an invitation into their world; their home. So many times I have said “I’ve been on your blog and I feel like I know you already!”

Because I kind of do…..because you have allowed me into your life.

Yes, it’s been ‘put out there’ so to speak, but just because it’s out there do we have to say exactly what we think of every comment?

I really am not a fan of meatloaf but would never say it to a host.

Because I am a guest. To my discredit, I personally can be a loud, boisterous, opinionated guest but I hope, I HOPE, I have the foresight to know when I have stayed my limit, when it is time to thank my host for a lovely conversation and move on.

May we mind our manners….when it comes to meatloaf and blog posts.

It was a good Easter!

The last three Easter’s of Samantha’s life have been hard.

Easter #1: We had just taken Samantha home from the hospital after her diagnosis of Infantile Spasms She was on heaping doses of meds and proceed to seize her way through Easter.

Easter #2: Samantha had an undiagnosed UTI and again had seizures through Easter.

Easter #3: Easter number three itself was good….we spent the weekend in Vail with Pops and Nonnie. But we were in the hospital until Good Friday due to yet another infection. Samantha did score an awesome bunny that week from the Aurora Police Department so we had that going for us but still….tough time during Easter.

This year, Samantha has been fighting another MRSA infection. We’ve changed antibiotics and I’ve packed a hospital bag twice this week thinking we might be admitted.

But our girl has held strong.

Last night she was clearly uncomfortable; her third sick night this week. I rocked Lil’ Miss at 3:00 in the morning thinking of how many plans we would have to cancel today, what I would pack for our hospital bag and contemplated how crowded the E.R would be on Easter.

And then her Daddy came into the room.

And he got her to sleep.

And she slept….and slept….

until 10:30 this morning. Samantha wasn’t on her ‘A’ game today; more of a C+ game but the new antibiotics seem to be finally kicking in. She sat on Grandma Judi’s lap and enjoyed the day. She even sat outside and watched her cousins and Grandpa Jim hunt for Easter eggs.

Grandpa Jim is on crutches right now so he kind of ‘hopped’ for Easter eggs with the basket around his neck….pictures are to come.

We could just enjoy the holiday….that’s even better than a Reese’s peanut butter egg….Thanks Easter Bunny!