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Blame is awesome

Poop-a-loop. It seems…..that as hard as I try to make my life simple, sometimes life is just hard.

And I don’t try to make it hard. But lately, lets really face it.

Life is kinda hard right now.

When life is hard the thing I really, really, really like to do is blame someone.

OHHHHHHHHH blame so fun. It really is.

Blame takes all my fear and anger it rolls it up into a flaming ball that is so easy to hold in my hand and launch.

Launch.

I don’t care where its going but its going to be good- its gonna hit with a BOOM and people are gonna know.

That I’m angry.

And my flaming blame ball hits. I feel its heat. Its wrath, MY wrath. My Power….BAHAHAHAHHAHA.

But.

Like pouring lighter fuel on a fire, it only singes some eyebrows and is done in seconds.

It’s awesome. And then unfulfilling.

And leaves me wanting more.

So let’s launch another.

And another.

And then I don’t know why I’m launching, why I’m SO angry…….only that it feels good.

For a second.

But life as blame is hard.

It’s almost as hard as life as joy.

It’s harder to create a big ball of joy to throw at someone.

Joy is squishy. It does not conform to one shape.

It has no rules, it cannot be contained. It requires time and thought.

It does not create a BOOM. God, I love a BOOM.

I’ve seen a lot this week. Battles between maskers and unmaskers. Vaxers and Unvaxers

I still have not seen my mountains.

Mice ate my Mercedes.

I’ve seen desperate people chase a plane to escape their country.

Stop.

I’ve seen desperate people chase a plane to escape their country.

And I have to focus on that last point. As I sit here, in my house….knowing that my loves are safe, and fed and I have few discomforts and I don’t have to race a plane……

I have one job……What can I do to de-escalate the blame?

I think I’m okay. I think you might be okay. What can we do, as people in a safe space, what can we do to stop the blame?

Where is my squishy, non-conforming joy ball?

However, I still do….blame the mice.

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